The joys of caravan camping in Australia ("Life in a Daze")

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The joys of caravan camping in Australia ("Life in a Daze")

Postby dentyr » 04 Dec 2019 16:27

The Wonderful World of the Camper van

The campervan was just sitting in my yard taking up space. I advertised it but only had one serious taker. She thought that it was a 2012 model, diesel automatic and she could get it for $10,000. Sad!!!

I decided that I would clean up the van and go for a trip. Spent many hours with aluminium angle replacing the light stuff that surrounded the floor and made a single bunk on one side instead of having to put the bed down every night. Things went well as far as my world went. Just used up about three months of instructive language to get things in order.

Went to start the van. Great, flat battery! Who wants a lumpy battery anyway? The chap that came around to start the van determined that a cell had gone so he installed a new battery. Fine now but the interior lights and the fridge did not go. Drove into town and had a new interior battery fitted. It was then discovered that the motor was not charging the interior battery so off to the auto electricians to see if it could be fixed. Two hours later all was working.

Drove home to pack the van for the trip. I have plastic boxes in which I store all the things for the van. At this point I realised that everything that could be taken out of the van had been, so that I could clean it. Replaced almost everything and put in the van packs. Great, now to set off on the great trip. Had to top up with fuel so into the petrol station and joined the queue. Eventually I was on my way. Well, after about an hour I discovered that I was on my way but there were things that were just NOT on the way. Never mind, I could buy the food things that I had not packed.

Arriving at the camp I was checked in and shown to my site. It is in the middle of a paddock. Not another human being to be seen as far as the eye could see. The toilet block is a desert trek away. By the time I walk there I have forgotten what I went there for.

Van parked on Campsite

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Van parked opposite Toilet Block

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Right. Now for afternoon tea. Put on the jug, brought the table into the van only to find that I had left the pole that supports the table top. Struggled with ideas about how to handle the situation, maybe get the flies to hold it up? There are almost three million flies here – per cubic meter!!

One of the camp workers came past on a golf cart – electric thing. I asked him if he had a piece of pipe that I could use. We measured the required space and he went away to return shortly afterwards with a nice piece of plastic pipe. Unfortunately it was just too big in diameter. He went to get another piece but that was no good either. Never mind, I assured him that I could make it fit. I heated the end over my gas ring and as it got soft I pushed it into the hole in the flange of the table. Did the same with the other end and now I have a very wobbly table but it stands.

Now for dinner tonight. Oh dear, most of the bits are here but the essential bits are still on my kitchen bench at home.

Everything falls or disappears. I put something down and turn away and without any help from me it crashes to the ground. Not to be out done it either breaks into a myriad of pieces or crawls into a totally inaccessible place. At least I know where that has gone – or do I? The next thing that is ALWAYS with me. If I touch something it disappears, usually into the future. It is nowhere to be found until I need something else and then there it is, right in the way.

The wind has dropped, the flies have been relieved of their duty – mozzies have taken over the night shift. I thought that I may try singing to them but they came in close and set up a high soprano descant.

Now it is nearly bed time for me. Just wonder how things will go overnight; bed knobs and broomsticks. Here’s hoping.

Here endeth the first day.

Regards, Dennis.
Keyboards: Yamaha Tyros 4, PSR SX700, PSR S970and StagePa300
I knit dolls and animal toys.
I always try to do things which I can't do in order to learn how to do them. ..
Werk maakt je vrij. Muziek maakt je blij. Work sets you free. Music makes you happy.
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Re: The joys of caravan camping in Australia ("Life in a Daz

Postby dentyr » 19 Apr 2020 01:19

The Wonderful World of the Campervan.
Day 2

Morning of the second day. Morning has broken and so has my heart. Well, not quite. Had a good sleep last night with nothing to interrupt me. Woke this morning to the hilarious performances of the kookaburras. Really, I did not see anything to laugh about. Maybe they thought it a great joke that I should be stuck out here in a paddock in a little tin box when I could be in my glorious mansion in the city. Still, I console myself, as I have said often “oranges are sweet because lemons are sour”. It is the contrast. There are people who fare far worse than me now.
Breakfast! WOW the thought of it. No problem, just make porridge. Apart from things falling, breaking and generally getting lost, everything went well. I fed in a glorious manner.

The wind is light,
The sky is grey.
A cooling start
To my next day
Nothing really left to do here
Reason come back to me.

(Adaption of the melody “Lover Come Back to Me”)

It is now later in the day. The sun has broken through, the wind has increased to a big advantage as it keeps the flies away, and there is nothing to do. It is warm but not hot. The sun shining through the windows, even though they are tinted, makes the van warm. I decided, in my infinite wisdom, to put out the awning! Hooray, another battle against the insurmountable odds. The perversity of the inanimate objects.
I opened the back door and took out the ties to hold the awing stays steady. Of course, the obnoxious creature that lives in the cupboard in the back of my van had tied up the stays into incredible knots. It was a test of patients untangling the mess. Eventually it was DONE!!! I wound out the awning with the handle provided wondering just what would happen next. IT DID!! One of the legs of the awning decided that it did not want to stand upright so it broke the plastic housing that allows it to swivel and lock into place. Never the less, I tied the leg into position wishing it was a gallows for the offending piece. Will have to fix that when I get home.
Even with the back flap open and the wind rushing through here at a rate that would make an aerospace wind tunnel weep, the flies still pour in. Trust their luck; they are immune to Mortine and the other bug killer I have with me. I tolerate the situation. No choice.
I am now beginning to understand why workers are sent away from their wonderful workplace to suffer “holidays”. It makes them SO glad to get back to reality.
16:30. Have taken things out of the freezer for my evening meal. Still wrapped in the gladwrap but in one of my cupboards. It may be a fight to see who gets the most of my meal, me or the flies. They outnumber me grossly.

The flies come in
The flies go out
There’s nothing much
To shout about
All campers are crazy!!


So now into the galley. Not the one to row across the wide open ocean but the one where you battle with gas burners, hot pots and knives that won’t cut.
I wonder, wonder why, I wonder why? Makes you want to break into song I suppose.

Evening time. (Evening bells)

As the sun is setting
All my cares regretting
Comes the sound of campers wails
Mozzies on their foodie trails
They will feed though all else fails
Camping’s fun!


20:00 Later in the Evening.
Brown snake in the camp tonight
Gave me quite an awful fright
Owners said that she’ll be right
Just watch and see

Snake man came from nearby town
Big long hook and bag of brown
Caught the snake and took her down
To where she should be.


Took the creature back down to the river out of our way. Seems a couple of kookaburras tried to have a go at it for a meal but gave up after a while. Excitement never ends here. Just too much going on before I got the camera.
Keyboards: Yamaha Tyros 4, PSR SX700, PSR S970and StagePa300
I knit dolls and animal toys.
I always try to do things which I can't do in order to learn how to do them. ..
Werk maakt je vrij. Muziek maakt je blij. Work sets you free. Music makes you happy.
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Re: The joys of caravan camping in Australia ("Life in a Daz

Postby dentyr » 19 Apr 2020 01:34

The Wonderful World of the Campervan.
Day 3
And the third day I arose again and ascended in the van.
Morning has broken – so what’s new? Most other things that I have touched have broken. However, must keep the pekker up, best foot forward, stiff upper lip, shoulder to the wheel, nose to the grindstone, ear to the ground, keen eye lookout!! Now try working in that position!
I digress. Having extracted myself from my sleeping bag I was all ready for the trek to the ablution block. Nice showers, hot and clean. Had the place all to myself. Arrived back at the van for breakfast. Looked for a comb! I always carry two or three as the women always want to tidy their hair before going somewhere. No comb. None to be found anywhere. I dreamed of Ilfa –comb and the Bristol Queen, (that was the paddle steamer across the channel.) Then it came to mind that in Devon they pronounce it – Ill-frak-Um-Bee
Get on with breakfast.
Maggies carolling outside and trying to get in. Logged onto YouTube, picked up the Red Tail Hawk hunting call – Maggies gone!

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17:00. What a wonderful quite day, that is if your day ends at 9:55. Three ride on motor mowers screaming around the park at about 60 Kmph.
Don’t know what they are mowing as the ‘grass’ is sheared off to ground level. Then there were four men? Boys with motor blowers blowing the leaves around. They have not made any difference as the leaves still come down from the gum trees. I suppose that they have to be seen doing something. I thought that it may stop at 5pm (17:00) but they are obviously keen to work up brownie points.
Lay and contemplated the back of my eye lids most of the morning. This afternoon I continued with my next story. Too noisy to sleep, too many flies outside and the temperature now is 35° (well it was at 15:00)
Am now preparing to make my tea. Two more caravans have pulled in and are setting up. Glad that I don’t have a big van like that. They take ages to set up. First the corner stands, then the wheel chocks. Next comes the TV and the satellite dishes to be tuned in, then the huge awning and sides. The floor mats and barbeque, tables and chairs. Cable to be plugged into the power outlets, water hose to be connected. I was watching to see if they had a steel cage for the kids. Oh the joys of camping.
I put out the awning tonight as the sun was on that side of the van. Still have to fix it, the awning that is.

The woman from that van
Has got no clothes,
She is wearing a towel
Well that’s how it goes.

You would not walk
Down into town
With just a towel
Or flimsy gown.

But camping wear
Is what you please
From below the boobs?
To above the knees?

They’ve opened the door
The kids are there
Nothing on
They’re totally bare.

The sun will soon
Just make them red
Or brown or dark
Like ginger bread.

Do I care?
No not me
I’ll go and cook
My steak for tea


Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow brings forth this petty place from day to day.
(Macbeth –Shakespeare, bless his little cotton sox. Sorry, no cotton in those days.)

It is now 19:00 and for the third day in a row the sun is setting. It does that occasionally. Have had my steak and potatoes, tea with mint chocolate bikkies and updated my virus software. Now to listen to one of my favourite ladies, Lucia Popp. If anything else comes to mind I’ll add it later. The reason for that is because I can’t add it sooner. Logic!
Regards, Dennis.
Keyboards: Yamaha Tyros 4, PSR SX700, PSR S970and StagePa300
I knit dolls and animal toys.
I always try to do things which I can't do in order to learn how to do them. ..
Werk maakt je vrij. Muziek maakt je blij. Work sets you free. Music makes you happy.
Image .. Image
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Location: Victoria, Australia


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