Paddy's Story .. a twist on words.

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Paddy's Story .. a twist on words.

Postby dentyr » 26 Feb 2022 13:51

The Story of Paddy O’Flynn
The Irishman they could not keep in.

The Story begins with the moral to the story.
It is your English language held to account.

Paddy had had been sent to Australia for his many misdemeanours. He continued his wanton ways and was eventually arrested again in a hotel in South Australia. His petty crimes were numerous, but the main problem was that the law could not keep him incarcerated. Two policemen of the force, requiring some liquid refreshment, popped into the aforementioned hotel and noticed Paddy with two ladies of questionable character. They arrested him and took him off to face the court.

The Story Continues.


Attending the court, the two policemen reiterated that they had arrested Paddy in a hotel with two ladies of questionable character. Paddy objected to this statement and said that they were kind generous ladies that had offered him a bed for the night. The lady judge smiled and nodded.

    “Why is Paddy here?” was the question.
One of the policemen told the story that Paddy had been incarcerated many times but he always seemed to escape. He went on to explain that in the small town where they lived was a cell that should hold Paddy.

The judge inquired for more information which was proudly explained. It seems that a concrete structure was built with nine inch thick walls, floor and roof. The door had to be opened with a tractor as it was so heavy. The building was about 3 meters by 2 meters and was initially intended as an ammunition store; now long since unused. A small slot in the door allowed food to be passed in but it was far too small to even get your hand through. A plank of wood was there for the bed.

The judge then sentenced Paddy to one month incarceration in the said cell.

The Story of Paddy and his Escapade.

Just as Paddy was about to leave the judge asked how did Paddy escape? Paddy turned and smiled, and related this story.

“When they put me in that cell I saw only the little slot and the wooden plank for my bed. I thought ‘Paddy is worth more than this’ and sat and thought about it. When the food was brought to me I asked what the weather was like. It was always the same, fine and sunny. After 4 days they told me that they were expecting a big storm; that suited me fine.

I measured up the plank of wood which was my bed and determined the half-way point. I marked that with my finger nail. Then, as the storm came I rubbed my hand on the plank until it was sore. With that saw I cut the plank in half. Now two halves make a whole. I put that hole into the wall where the police would not see it. I then crawled carefully through that hole and saw that it was raining sheets. I grabbed a couple of those sheets and wrapped myself so as not to get too cold. Then I shouted until I was hoarse. I climbed up that horse and rode away. On my way to the town I saw a man walking in the rain so I offered to sell him my horse. He gave me a pig that was a guinea, a king’s hat which was a crown and said that I could have the leather worker in town which was a tanner. That made up one pound six shillings and six pence. The deal was done. I continued my walk, thinking that it would not be too far but it started to hail. So I hailed a taxi and took the ride into town to the hotel. Again I had no money having to pay the cab. I saw 2 nice ladies sitting at a table and sauntered over to them. They looked at me and one asked ‘Who are you’. So I said ‘You have heard of Jaws? Well this is Yours!’ The other one then queried, ‘What’s Yours?’. So I thanked them very much and said I’ll have a pint of Guinness seeing that you offered. They laughed and I got my pint. That’s when your nice friendly policemen came in.”

The judge then, smiling, said that she would sentence Paddy to 3 months labour on the farm. The man to whom you sold the horse is a local farmer and would like the help.

So that is Paddy’s story.
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I always try to do things which I can't do in order to learn how to do them. ..
Werk maakt je vrij. Muziek maakt je blij. Work sets you free. Music makes you happy.
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Re: Paddy's Story .. a twist on words.

Postby JohnT » 26 Feb 2022 20:23

Hi Den. You are quite right our language is confusing. Enjoyed the story. John
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